Singleness

Singleness, a state of being single. In a world where being single is seen as something so devastating and hopeless, let’s look at it from a Godly perspective. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

For so long in the secular world, movies and music, we see time and again that once you like someone “common sense” seems to be out of the window or rather all caution is thrown to the wind. So let’s debunk some myths:

• Being single is not a punishment from God, some people think it’s God way of punishing them for whatever wrong or mistake they have done in the past. That’s not true, our God is just too good to do that to any of his children.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/jer.29.11.NLT

• Being single in itself isn’t a bad thing, there is always a purpose for each season in a man’s life, and each season must be unto the glory of God. So if you ask me why? I would answer why not, but for the glory of God. When I mean for the glory of God, what would God have you do in the season of life you are in, are you witnessing to people?, trying to win people to Christ or are you so consumed about not having someone to be boo’ed up with, you begin to idolize it.
• Someone once said “even the seemingly noble things can become an idol” and that’s absolutely true, when we think of idolatry we often times think of bowing down in front of a shrine or something but you see anything that is placed above God is idolatry. Be it career, academics etc.
• While some people pray for their “soulmate” having a soulmate isn’t even biblical but that’s not the point I am trying to make here. The point is some people pray for their future spouses and that’s is not a bad thing but as I earlier stated don’t begin to idolize it, don’t be so consumed with finding the “one” that it’s all you go to God for. Let your desire and longing for a relationship be known to God but let it not be the reason you are serving God.

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
1 Corinthians 14:33 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/1co.14.33.KJV

• No one can and will complete you, if you are looking for someone to make you whole or complete you won’t find such person. Only Jesus can complete people. Only Jesus can amend whatever you are struggling or dealing with not a man or a woman. Jesus wants you to come to the realization of His love. His love for you is so endless. So if you are looking for love, try Jesus.
• God isn’t concerned about who I date and that’s a lie. God would like you to talk to Him and tell Him how you are feeling, your feelings aren’t invalid but take it to God. God cares so much about you and loves you so much that something as important as choosing a life partner would not be of little importance to Him. God will not chose a life partner for you but would like to choose a life partner with you.

Now that we’ve debunked some myths let’s carry on.

Why should you court or date? If you aren’t doing it with the intention to get married I don’t see the reason to. I will go back to the point I made earlier about secular movies, you see people “in love” choosing to date but with no intention to get married, and that leads to years and years of wasted efforts trying to act married but aren’t. if the purpose of something isn’t determined abuse is inevitable. I am not saying all courtships lead to marriage but at least going into it, you had an end goal.

Another false narrative about the secular world is that the good girl changes the bad boy and for years we fell under the spell of this, but I am here to tell people we are not the holy spirit, it’s not our job to change people. Never date anyone whose values aren’t aligned with yours, that is, who would likely make you comprise on the Godly standards you have in your life. Just being a good girl or boy isn’t going to cut it because the world’s standard of good varies. You have to be saved, as in, Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior.

People often times want to rush out of being single and get into a relationship as quick as possible, you see, you can’t rush God’s timing and God isn’t going to force you to obey Him, if you rush out of singleness into a dating relationship, it’s likely you are going to fall back into the single category but this time with scars of something God never intended for you to have in the first place.

Something I often say is I am led by convictions and not by feelings, because our emotions can be quite deceptive, if we have no control over them, then its likely to be the one controlling us. These emotions aren’t bad in itself but what do you do when you feel them, when you feel angry or bitter or you like someone, do you take it to God? or are you quick to lash out, to wallow in your bitterness or be with someone God hasn’t given you the go ahead to be with.

So what ways can I make this season valuable

• Get in the word, we daily need to renew our minds, read edifying books and cultivate good spiritual habits. The darkness doesn’t like light, so when someone isn’t usually conforming to the standards of this world, it’s likely the pressure is usually higher.
• Be in a good environment, have good friends who will pray with you and for you, who have your best interest at heart and are not afraid to tell you the truth when you are in the wrong. Some people are in unfavorable environments right now, I will say still be the light. Be that good and faithful servant, Jesus would have you be.
• Go on mission trips, join a church group, host bible studies and prayer meeting, start a blog, preach the gospel. Be committed to the assignment God has given to you for the advancement of His kingdom.
• Go out with friends and family, spend time with your loved ones. Build the community God has placed you in.

Faith is having trust in God that He has your best interest at heart, so if singleness or relationships is something you need to daily surrender to Him, please do it. Let’s get to a place where we pray Lord not my will, but yours be done.